Saturday, 18 February 2012

Living for today

My whole life I have been living for tomorrow. I would love to go on  a trip, when I lose a little more weight. I would love to go to Disney land with my children, when I lose weight of course. I would love to go to the gym and work out, but I cant go and workout in public until I lose some weight first. (that last one is a little ironic)
I have been living for tomorrow, or when I lose weight, my whole life. The sad thing is, my life doesn't start tomorrow. My kids wont be little boys forever, they are little boys now. I not married tomorrow, I'm married now. My friends don't want to hang out tomorrow, they live in the now.
     I can remember my mother buying me a swimsuit when I was nine years old, and she loved me in it. Me on the other hand, not so much. I hated it, it showed too much, and i always felt more comfortable in a T shirt. So two summers ago I started thinking, I live in Pasadena, it has the most beautiful beach. My children live for the beach in the summer, who doesn't? Me, that's who. I live for the beach in tomorrow land, when I lose weight, and can wear a swimsuit. How ridiculous is that! So I decided enough is enough. I went and bought a swimsuit.The first swim suit I had put on my body in twenty three years. And I have to say, as someone who loves to swim, I had no idea how much a t shirt and shorts were taking away from that awesome experience.
     I have lived for some day in the future when i will be exactly what I want to be, for as long as I can remember... well no more. Life is too short. I have three boys in my house, Bill, James and Micah, and the three of them love me now, not in some fairy tale time that doesn't exist yet. So if you are like me, and have been living secretly for a day that isn't here yet, I promise you, that you can make the day you are actually living in  wonderful. Join with me in living life now, and enjoying every minute of it!

1 comment:

  1. Oh I love that suit, such a beautiful blue and you look smashing! Enjoy the time with the boys now, they're only little for such a short time. Live in the moment, enjoy every day, everything in life can change in an instant. One day at a time and have fun (especially at the beach in that suit!). :-) T