Saturday, 4 April 2015

My Body Shapewear Dilema!!!

Since having my surgery one thing I can not leave my house without wearing is body shape wear. For any of you who do not know what this is you are soooooo lucky and you don't even realize it!! Shape wear is a spandexy (I just made that word up) type material designed to suck you in and lift you up in places where things have fallen. This is my own definition and I feel it describes it well, Im thinking I should copyright that! Believe me, wearing it sucks!!! The first thing I do as I enter my house at the end of the day is take off the restraints that have imprisoned me all day and finally take a deep breath. I remember my grandmother talking about girdles when I was a little girl but other than the odd reference I never gave much thought to the situation... until now that is, now I am dependant on them. Along with shape wear comes a problem, the problem of it rolling down in the back. My shape wear goes from my chest to the middle of my thighs, it is seriously a spandex suit of armour. My main issue is that it rolls down in the back. The back rolling frustrates me to no end, because it creates a new body part, a body part that I have named BACK BOOBIES. Back Boobies happen when the shape wear rolls down and the fat or slack skin that had been held in escapes and hangs out over. I do not... and I can not emphasise this enough... I do not like back boobies! I feel it is very un lady like to be pulling up my slipping and rolling shape wear all the time but I have no choice. *note* it makes a snapping sound! Some times if Bill is around and no one is looking, I make him pull it up because he is stronger and can get a better grip. He almost lifted me off the floor one day. (TMI!) Bless him, he puts up with a lot. I have a friend who informed me that you can find them online that actually hook into your bra. GENIOUS! But you see... I also have a problem with procrastination. One day I had a serious light bulb moment. It was like an epiphany! I really don't need to spend sixty eight dollars on shape wear that hooks into my bra when a pack of fifty safety pins costs less than two dollars. You can see where this is going cant you. So for a couple of weeks, this was awesome. I was walking around back boobieless with myself all pinned and tucked in. It was great! Id pin myself in in the morning... or get Bill to do it for me if he was around (he really does have a lot to deal with) and when I needed to unpin id just reach back and unpin them. really it was no different than reaching back to unpin a bra, and I have been doing that all my life. I was feeling pretty smug, until one day... I was at work and out around town doing my thing when I had an unbelievable need to pee. This does not happen to me often. Since my surgery I can go long periods of time without needing to pee... probably because my fluid intake is not what it should be at times, but im kind of like a camel and can go very long stretches. (I really don't know how often camels pee) On this particular day I must have over did it on the coffee because I could not wait! I pulled into the milbrook mall which is a big deal in itself because I absolutely hate public washrooms. I managed to make it to the washroom and get in there, then I tried to reach back and unclip the safely pins, however they would not unclip. PANIC!!!! I was literally fused into this armour of spandex and could not get out of it. The pins had bent and warped and would not give or budge. DILEMA!!! I had to slither out of all my garments like a snake shedding a spandex skin. It was horrible. So this is what comes with shape wear. Rolling, tugging, snapping, pulling, and in some cases getting stuck in it! Fun stuff. Feel free to share any of your own fun shape wear experiences. Im going to leave you with a video of me and my boys while we were stuck killing time on the side of a highway waiting for the weather to clear from a snow storm. (it was sunny when we left) We figured while we had time to kill we might as well enjoy it. HAPPY EASTER FROM US couldn't quite figure out how to add the video so I just posted the link