Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Monumental day

So I have had another monumental day today. Last year around this time I had reached my highest weight and felt really bad about myself. I didn't want to go out in public, I hated looking in mirrors, I found it difficult to drive my standard because my stomach hit the steering wheel making it difficult to reach my clutch to change gears, I found it increasingly difficult to go to work because the thirteen stairs I had to walk up and down made me short of breath and on one occasion gave me heart palpitations, I couldn't wear a seat belt, and the list goes on and on. One thing I didn't add to this list is I felt sad when my husband hugged me because he couldn't get his arms around me. Well this morning my twelve year old had to write his first ever final exam. So we started the day off by going through all the rituals of sharpening pencils, taking a bunch of pictures, drilling him on terms, and of course our morning hug. I hugged him really tight because my big boy was growing so fast. It seems like yesterday I was getting ready to write exams and my parents were getting pencils ready, mom drilling me on terms, running out the door, dad getting his tea as I repeated over and over we were going to be late, (but we were never ever late) So I squeezed my boy extra tight (and he is so sweet and affectionate he was squeezing me too) and at the same moment both of us looked at each other as we realized what had happened. My small twelve year old with his short little arms had hugged me and clasped his hands behind my back. It was a glorious moment. Both of us burst laughing at the same time without either one of us saying a word... of course me with a instant build up of tears, what a awesome feeling. My whole family has been going through every moment of this amazing roller coaster. Me and my little man got to have one of the coolest moments ever because of it. And then we did a little happy dance. James just said WOW! Oh how my life has changed in the last ten months. I now love to go out in public. I LOVE looking in mirrors. I pull my seat as far ahead as I can in my jeep with tonnes of room to spare in my seatbelt. I run the stairs at work just because I can. And getting hugs from my boys, all three of them, is the best feeling in the world. What a gift I have been given. I hesitate to put up the picture I am about to put up because I hate absolutely hate how I look in it. But it gives some perspective about how far I have come... so here goes my newest before and after picI just wanted to share this moment with you all who have been travelling this journey with me. Ill be keeping you posted! Oh!! and I would like to introduce you to the newest member of our family, meet Habby!! Isn't she adorable... and yes bill named her after the Montreal Canadians.

4 comments:

  1. Amanda you are truly an inspiration. I lost 50 pounds in 2007 because my weight was messing with my fertility. I kept the weight off, had a baby girl in 2009 and then proceeded to gain 70 pounds in my year of maternity leave (anti- depressants and entire tubs of strawberry ice cream were to blame). As I approach my 39th birthday I realize I can't physically keep up with my 5 year old and I don't have any pictures of me with my girl since she was born. So far I haven't been able to tap into the strength and energy I found to lose weight before. Reading your blog posts has inspired me to get off my butt and stop the pity party.

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  2. hi amy... I totally hear ya... I had cut myself out of all family pics that included anything other than my face... and I had lost and regained so many times that I was unable to count them all... im hoping and praying that this time I can keep it off but the surgery is just a tool so I am still responsible for my choices... hardest struggle of my life. so glad you read and best of luck in your journey as well!!!

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  3. Amanda, I have just caught up on your blog! I am so happy for you! So proud of you!!!! I had a tear when I read about your boy hugging you! I so remember that feeling! You are so right that emotional eating is a disorder. One that I still struggle with almost 3 years into maintaining my weight! It's a daily struggle and sometimes an hourly struggle, but I am doing it and I will keep it up! Just like you are and like you will also! Good for you! Keep it up! I am happy for you!

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